sapphireswimming:

ubercharge:

siketreeker:

showerthoughtsofficial:

People often say they hope their deceased pet dog is chasing squirrels in doggy heaven… what did all of those squirrels do to deserve an afterlife of torment?

Dog heaven is also squirrel hell it’s a very efficient system.

i can’t stop fucking laughing at the thought of squirrels sinning so much in the mortal plane that they have to be sent to squirrel hell to atone

They know that the bird feeder isn’t meant for them

thorlowkey:

marvel should make a mockumentary about loki as odin and the behind the scenes drama that went on while loki was trying to produce and direct his play. i wanna see tantrums about sets, actors, and interviews with asgardians who are just like “ya we know it’s loki but at least he’s not trying to kill anyone, so we just let him do what he wants”

transpeter:

transpeter:

peter: i hate it when people say that i can “do whatever a spider can”

tony: well, can’t you?

peter: i can think of many things a spider can do that i can’t. i can’t crawl into someone’s ear and die, i can’t legally leave guatemala without a passport, i can’t have sex with a spider —

steve: can we change the subject

loki: let him finish talking

jumpyhyliannetop:

saber-chan:

I spent all day doing sidequests instead of progressing the main story

I know you’re talking about a videogame but this is actually a really good metaphor for my life

alittlebeyondtheobvious:

Oh,look! It’s your favourite mcu character!

NO